How many times have we found ourselves doubting that we will realize victory? If you’re anything like me, procrastination is often the name of the day.
I start the journey toward each goal with great enthusiasm! I’m on it! My brain is churning out strategies; my body is nervously twitching with the anticipation of what is to come. Yet, after about the third or fourth obstacle, my mind begins to crumble. I am thinking: “Maybe I’m not suppose to be doing this.” “Maybe it’s the Universe telling me that this is not the way to go.” “Maybe I should rethink my original premise.” On and on into a downward spiral I go, talking myself out of my victory.
If I am working with other people, this weakened mindset quickly takes me into a roll of complaint: “People are this and people aren’t that.” Shortly thereafter I become filled with anger at the ineffectual behavior of others adding more complaints of; ” Everytime I try to do something with people they mess it up.” Or; “I know I can never depend on anyone else I don’t know why I even try, I can’t trust anyone to do what I need done.” Little by little I chip away at the original enthusiasm and hope of accomplishment.
Recently, while working on a project that included others, this deterioration process began. As usual, I became enraged, incensed with the lack of committment of the people who were involved in this project. Fortunately, I get a chance to see the workings of my mind on a daily basis through my belief system. At first I blatantly ignored the truth of the situation because after all it wasn’t me who wasn’t doing what needed to be done, it was “them”.
Soon I was laughing at myself. I do that a lot as I tend to flirt with my egotistic nature quite often. After witnessing clearly what I had not allowed myself to be aware of, I came to grips with my situation and put things into their proper perspective.
The first question I asked of myself was: “Whose goal is this?” The answer: “Mine!” Than: “Are the people you working with capable people?” Of course they are or they would not have been chosen initially. That leaves only one element to be reviewed; me. I had become discouraged and stopped being the queen of victory that I am. I had started whining, complaining, denouncing the very people who were supporting me in this project. Of course they didn’t hear me say that I was blaming them. Nonetheless, I put that energy out there and without realizing it, had been treating them like menial servants on a produce farm. I had developed an attitude of no appreciation for them, my goal, myself and all the future respondants that were to help me to acheive victory. It was my call and I had failed to answer. I was too busy doubting everyone and everything to find one iota of appreciation for the myriad of people who would assist me in realizing victory.
Many of us do this. Maybe not this exact process, but one similar. Our selfish, egotistical nature is the seed that grows and sprouts until we are having spiritual, than physical and emotional temper tantrums. The only killer of this distructive weed is appreciation. In appreciation for all things we find victory.
We must first appreciate whatever force there is that allows us the mind to have these brilliant ideas and schemes. We must accept the fact that we are all connected and everyone has a hand in our success. Oh we may think we are the genius in the mix, the talent, the one who does everything for everyone, but ultimately, everyone and everything is the harbringer of our success. The intricate weave of life connects us in such a way that we are never doing anything alone.
Sitting here this morning writing this, I am aware of all the people that built this technology to make it possible. I am aware of my grandmother who paid for my education. I am aware of all my teachers, all my friends and foes, all my experiences good and bad, that made it possible for me to be sitting here at this moment sharing this experience and this knowledge. I am aware of the prayers I say each morning which keep me centered and grounded, whether I believe I am or not. I am aware of the food I ate that has sustained my life and given me the nutrition and thereby the energy to sit here and write this. I am aware of all of the people that processed this food in order that it arrives safely and healthily to my table. I am very much aware. In this awareness the birth of deep and profound appreciation awakens and I am absolute that victory is mine.
We perceive ourselves as islands in this great scheme of things. We sit in our little cubicles at work, feeling unappreciated. We spend our time at home or with our friends feeling unappreciated. Our feelings of entitlement are great and many. When we realize the debt of gratitude that we owe to everyone and everything merely to be where we are in the moment and our hearts and mind become filled with the awe and connectedness of it all, than and only than will we realize victory on every front.
There is only victory when our hearts fill with appreciation.