“Can it be that it was all so simple than, or has time rewritten every line?” The Way We Were-Bergman & Bergman, sung by Gladys Knight and Barbara Streisand
Glancing back at history, through the miasma of perception and memory, leaves one either reminiscent of the beauty, mourning the loss, or some other emotional waltz that we dance with ourselves. In most cases the feeling is awe at the survival of many of those experiences which marked us with the brand of knowledge and spiritual growth received at the end of each of these episodes in our lives.
Sitting here, trying to remember a past, that seems to be lost someplace in time and space with very little of its pleasure or pain beckoning to me as once it did. Making an effort to determine if this is the result of aging, stress or just living in the moment in a way that I never have previously. The memories are all still intact, yet the roles I played then have been relinquished to that; roles that I have played, at given points in time in order to learn the lessons I needed to learn in those roles.
Of course memory always plays tricks on us as we accept or reject each of those experiences within the library of our minds. Sometimes whole stories are rewritten, characters reshaped, outcomes shifted into different focuses, sharpened blurred or obliterated without a conscious thought that this has even taken place.
We might become swashbucklers, victoriously rising to every challenge until with dare and doing we forget the suffering, regret and shame that the original experience manifested in us. Or we may find humility where once there was arrogance, pride where once the shame was, compassion where there was fear. So many places that memory has been edited based upon who we are in any given moment or who we really are as our pure or genuine self.
The thing about being the role, is that sometimes we really begin to believe the role so intensely, that we forget our genuine selves.