This Morning while I was talking with an online friend, I had an epiphany, if you will.
LOVE is not a four letter word, it’s an entire encyclopedia on what to think, what to say, how to act. Saying I love you means that you contract to only have loving thoughts, speak loving words, show loving behavior toward those you love.
I immediately felt a tug of resistance as this realization was indicative of the need of massive change in my behavior.
All of my behavior is justified (in my own mind) as I always allow everyone to know: “I never give anyone anything they don’t deserve!” But deserving or not is not the issue here. The issue is that I really do love everyone, but have not been thinking, speaking or acting lovingly all of the time.
As it stands, I know the above is the truth. Everything in me knows it is the absolute truth; yet, the implications are far more far reaching then I want to admit, or deal with. The reason being that if I believe this, and I do, that means I have to modify my foundation of belief to reflect this truth. This means a lot of hard work and self discipline. Neither of which I am very good at.
We build into our psyches the tools we need to function more or less successfully in life. Some of these tools are those of warriors, and we learn to use them skillfully. We devise strategies and methods to decimate our perceived enemy, who may be anyone at anytime who contributes to our discomfort, pain or feelings of hurt. It doesn’t matter who they are or our relationship to them. And all this based on the failure to understanding, we are the only one responsible for our feelings.
If we are not physically harmed, then we are the only one responsible for our thoughts and feelings about others behavior, which we have no control over. WE make their words harmful, by how we feel about them, then we generate thoughts, which manifest into words and actions that may prove equally, if not more, harmful to them. They of course become more incensed and return volley for volley, eroding the relationship further. Yet, many of these relationships started with feelings of love, but were not supported by loving thoughts, words and actions, once we chose to feel, fear, hurt, anger and the like regarding certain interactions with them. This of course belies the whole idea and concept surrounding love.
Well this is my wake up call; that love is more then a four letter word, but is in fact the entire way of life for a loving person, and I believe we all are.